Uncharted

“Uncharted” is a 2022 Action/Adventure movie based off the popular video game series with the same name. It brings a star-studded class with Tom Holland (Spider-Man: Homecoming), Mark Wahlberg (Invincible), Antonio Banderas (The Mask of Zorro), Sophia Ali (Truth or Dare), and Tati Gabrielle (You).

A seasoned treasure hunter (Wahlberg) seeks out the help of a younger adventurer (Holland) who may hold the secret in finding Ferdinand Magellan’s lost fortune.

You know it’s going to be good with Wahlberg and Holland, both are great actors, and you can’t help but love them. It is a 2hr movie, but good news is its action packed, so it doesn’t feel like a two-hour movie. I’ve only played bits off the first “Uncharted” video game, but from what I’ve read it follows the game pretty closely and even does several of their action scenes. With that said, some of the action scenes are cheesy and over the top, but that’s with most action movies. We don’t watch action movies for their realness, right? But for their entertainment value, and this one does entertain. Another cool thing is it has a brief cameo from Nolan North who voices Nathan Drake (Holland’s character) in the video game series. Keep a lookout for a sequel, as this one sets it up. I give it an 8/10.

Texas Chainsaw Massacre (2022)

“Texas Chainsaw Massacre” is a requel (remake/sequel) of the horror movie “The Chainsaw Massacre.” This one stars Sarah Yarkin (Happy Death Day 2U), Elsie Fisher (Castle Rock), Mark Burnham (Lowlife), Olwen Fouere (Zone 414), and Moe Dunford (Vikings).

A group of hipsters buy what they believe is an abandoned town to auction off the buildings and have their own utopia. It happens to not be totally abandoned and they unknowingly unleash the evil that is Leatherface. Now it’s a fight for survival as he goes on a killing spree.

I saw a review saying that someone saw the new “Halloween”, and they tried to do the same thing but with Leatherface. I don’t think you can sum it up any better. Just like Michael, Leatherface is now an old man, easily in his 70s and is seemingly unkillable. Just like Laurie Strode in Halloween an old woman from his past is the only one that can stop him. Not to mention both go on a gruesome murdering spree. I liked it though, Leatherface is my favorite of the original baddies (Michael, Jason, Freddy Krueger, and Ghostface). So, I was excited they came out with a new one. A cool little fact too, the chainsaw used in this one is the same that’s used in the original. If you’re a fan of horror, or The Texas Chainsaw Massacre movies it’s worth watching. Sure, it’s cheesy in parts, but what slasher flick isn’t? I give it a 7/10.

Last Night in Soho

“Last Night in Soho” is a 2021 mystery/horror starring Thomasin McKenzie (Old), Anya Taylor-Joy (The Queen’s Gambit), Diana Rigg (Game of Thrones), Matt Smith (Doctor Who), Terence Stamp (Superman), and Michael Ajao (Attack the Block).

A country girl moves to London to go to school to be a fashion designer. She rents a flat where a woman from the 60’s was killed. She starts to have visions of the woman, and when she goes to sleep at night, she essentially lives as this woman. She believes the killer is still at large as her own life starts to spiral out of control.

It was hard to get a good read of what this one was about from the trailers, and it didn’t stay long in theaters, so I watched it on Redbox. Both Mckenzie and Taylor-Joy play great roles as the line between reality blurs between them. It hooks you in right away and does a great job switching between present and past. About three fourths or so in, it takes a weird turn by merging the two times together. Which I get, but I think it would have been better without it. It does have a couple of twists, that sort of make up for this. Overall, I give it a 7/10.

Jackass Forever

“Jackass Forever” is the newest installment in the Jackass movie series. They bring back the old crew with Johnny Knoxville, Steve-O, Chris Pontius, Wee Man, Danger Ehren, Dave England, and Preston Lacy. While adding some younger faces which included Rachel Wolfson, Machine Gun Kelly, Eric Andre, Zach Holmes, and Sean McInerney.

“Jackass” first premiered in 2000 and ran until 2007, and the first movie came out 2003. So nearly 20 years since the first movie, and 10 from the last one. The guys are back at it again, this time as I mentioned with some younger additions. I personally love “Jackass” I started watching them when I was thirteen and watched them all through high school. I Knew all the members and their stunts, so I was pretty pumped when they decided to come out with a new one. All the movies start with a big stunt introducing everyone, this one is no different, just a little cruder. This one starts with Chris Pontius’s dick dressed up as Godzilla terrorizing a village. It doesn’t slow down with the crudeness, plenty of dicks in this one. Which I could do without, but it is Jackass so no surprise there. Outside that it’s pretty good, they pay a homage to a lot of their early stunts by redoing them. They even have a touching tribute to Ryan Dunn, which was awesome to see. Don’t expect to see the originals in the majority of the stunts, except for Danger Ehren, which is no surprise. They’ve always been meaner to him. They are getting older which makes sense, but it was a little sad to see them not quite as involved. Overall if you’re a fan of Jackass it’s a must see. I give it a 7/10.

Brazen

“Brazen” is a 2022 Netflix original thriller/mystery starring Alyssa Milano (Charmed), Sam Page (Mad Men), Malachi Weir (The Naked Brothers Band), and Matthew Finlan (Grand Army).

A crime writer goes to visit her sister who she has a rocky relationship with. While there, she meets a detective who lives next door and quickly becomes a love interest. Her sister is murdered, and she finds out she was living a secret life, she teams up with the detective to catch her sister’s killer.

Sounds pretty good, right? That’s about all it has going for it. It’s very hallmark-esque. The dialogue is cheesy, the acting is cheesy, and the whole story line is cheesy. They wouldn’t let a crime writer whose sister was killed join on to find out who killed her sister. Which wouldn’t be a bad plot if they were able to sell it with solid acting. Then the love interest, they’ve only known each other a week, act like it’s a lifetime, which makes it kind of dumb. It just doesn’t work. On top of that it is lacking depth, oh by the way here’s the killer. Netflix has been knocking it out of the park as of late with their original movies, but this one is a swing and a miss. I give it a 3/10.

Aileen Wuornos: American Boogeywoman

“Aileen Wuornos: American Boogeywoman” is a 2021 thriller based on serial killer Aileen Wuornos’s brief marriage to multimillionaire Lewis Fell. It stars Peyton List (Cobra Kai), Lydia Hearst (Z Nation), and Tobin Bell (Saw).

“Monster” with Charlize Theron helped make serial killer Alieen Wuornos and her heinous crimes a household name. This one here is about her brief marriage to an older multimillionaire and all her underhanded manipulative things she did. It’s an interesting story about a part of her life that isn’t really talked about. However, the only bright spot of this movie is Peyton List. She’s very talented, and a great actress. Her acting is the only solid thing in this movie. They have a great story that’s really interesting but after about the 40-minute mark it gets soapy beyond belief. That’s where all the fiction they added into the movie comes into play, the acting’s bad, the story is soapy and it’s just dumb. I’m giving it a 4/10, and that’s only because of Peyton List’s acting. If not for her the movie would be a complete wash.

Scream (2022)

“Scream” is the fifth installment in the horror film series “Scream”. This is one is a sequel/remake, or as I learned the term from this movie a requel. They bring back some of the original cast from the first one which includes Neve Campbell (Wild Things), Courteney Cox (Friends), and David Arquette (Never Been Kissed). Outside the originals it also stars Melissa Barrera (In the Heights), Jack Quaid (The Hunger Games), Mikey Madison (Once Upon a Time in Hollywood), Jenna Ortega (You), and Dylan Minnette (The Open House).

Twenty-Five Years after the original killings in Woodsboro, Billy Loomis’s daughter is drawn back to Woodsboro after a new Ghostface attacks her sister. Now she must find out who the killer is before it’s too late.

This is about a movie, in a movie, while trying to make a new movie, a little inception, right? Ghostface is from the Stab movies which is based off the Woodsboro murders, and the new Ghostface emerges to fix the last stab movie with a series of murders. Sounds a little confusing, but the writing is very solid, and it’s not as confusing as it sounds. It is full of twists and turns, that keeps you guessing who the killer is. The classic characters also come back and serve a purpose, just not put in for money purposes. Also, Jenna Ortega plays a great part as one of the leads, she’s a great actress. I was actually surprised at how good and well done, this one was. It’s been ten years since the last Scream, and this is the best one in the franchise. I give it a solid 9/10.

Zone 414

“Zone 414” is a 2021 Sci-Fi Mystery/Thriller starring Guy Pearce (L.A. Confidential), Matilda Anna Ingrid Lutz (A Classic Horror Story), and Jonathan Aris (The End of the F***ing World).

In a dystopian future people pay good money to spend time in Zone 414. Zone 414 is the only place where robots are allowed to interact with humans. When the creator of Zone 414’s daughter is missing, he hires a private detective (Pearce) to go into Zone 414 and find her. He enlists the help of an A.I. (Lutz) to be his tour guide. They soon find out Zone 414 is darker, and seedier than thought.

So, two Sci-Fi movie reviews in a row, not on purpose though, purely coincidental. This one is pretty dark, the A.I.’s are basically sex workers forced to do whatever humans pay for. You have your brooding mysterious detective, a robot who thinks and wants to be human, and plenty of grimy characters along the way. It actually makes for a good story; however, it feels half baked. It has the elements to be really good, but it feels like it’s lacking something. It jumps to the big conclusion out of nowhere and doesn’t have any lead up to it. I give it a 6.5/10. You can currently catch this one on Netflix.

Mother/Android

“Mother/Android” is a 2021 Sci-fi/Thriller starring Chloe Grace Mortez (Kick-Ass), Algee Smith (Judas and the Black Messiah), and Raul Castillo (Night Teeth).

Somewhere in the future, possibly the near future, Androids are programmed to wait on, and serve man. They are programmed with a function that won’t allow them to hurt humas. When something disrupts a signal, Androids lose this function, and now seek to kill off all human life. A mother who is 9 months pregnant, and her boyfriend must make it from central MA to Boston in hopes of safety. They must cross “no mans land” in order to get to Boston, an area that is filled with Androids.

This one reminds me of ” I Am Legend” mixed with “Mother.” Instead of zombies and Will Smith, you get robots, Chloe Grace Mortez, and Algee Smith. The “Mother” part comes in, with the way it transitions between scenes, when it gets to a climax of a scene it suddenly ends and is in the future in the next scene. “Mother” does the same thing. This is one of the only things I didn’t like about this film. “Mother” was just garbage all the way around.

Another thing I didn’t like, it has a few cheesy parts, like for instance when Chloe Grace Mortez is in a wheelchair holding off a flood of Androids with one hand holding back a chain link gate, I mean come on. Other than those couple of things this movie is a very solid film. It doesn’t have much love on IMDb, but it is very good. It hooks you in and will have you on the edge of your seat the whole time, and throws in some twists you won’t see coming. I also promise the ending will have you all in your feelings. Solid acting from Chloe Grace Mortez, and Algee Smith. Raul Castillo is one of the cheesy parts. I give it a 9/10, you can catch this one on Hulu.

Nightmare Alley

Here we go, first review for 2022. Going to start it off right with “Nightmare Alley”. It’s a 2021 mystery from the mind of Guillermo Del Toro, it has a fantastic cast starring Bradley Cooper (Silver Linings Playbook), Cate Blanchett (The Lord of the Rings: the Fellowship of the Ring), Toni Collette (The Sixth Sense), Willem Dafoe (Spider-Man), Richard Jenkins (Burn After Reading), Rooney Mara (The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo), Ron Perlman (Hellboy), and Holt McCallany (Mindhunter).

This film takes place is the 1930’s and early 1940’s and follows the story of Stanton Carlisle (Cooper), a man with a troubled past who joins up with the circus as a laborer. He works his way up in the circus and learns the ins and outs of a mentalist, and soon becomes the hottest act around. He’s playing the best clubs, and hotels around, doing two shows a day. He ends up getting greedy and biting off more than he can chew when a rich and powerful man hires his services to have him contact his dead wife. Playing with fire, Stanton starts believing his own con.

I’m a big fan of Del Toro, I love his directing style. A dark gothic type feel that relies heavily on visuals. Same thing could be said about this film, you see his style throughout. It’s a slow burn, a 2.5 hour movie, but it keeps you glued to the screen the entire time. Everyone plays a great role, especially Cooper. As he gets consumed by greed and the darkness inside him continues to grow, it will keep you guessing what is going to happen. Cooper deserves an Oscar for this role, start your new year out right by seeing this one. I give it a 10/10.