The Machine

“The Machine” is a 2023 action/comedy based off one of the popular standup skits of standup comedian Bert Kreischer. “The Machine” stars the machine himself Bert Kreischer, Mark Hamill (Batman: The Killing Joke), Jimmy Tatro (American Vandal), and Iva Babic (The Last Serb in Croatia).

One of Bert Kreischer’s key pieces to his standup is his story about robbing a train in Russia with the Russian mob while there on a school trip in college. It’s present day and the Russian mob comes looking for him. They want a watch back that’s a family heirloom that Kreischer stole over twenty years ago. He’s taken to Russia against his will along with his father. While searching for the watch they get caught up in a power struggle between siblings in one of the Russian mobs.

Since it stars Bert Kreischer and it’s based off his comedy, I figured this movie would be hilarious. While it is entertaining, I wouldn’t say it’s exactly funny. It has its funny moments, here and there, but that’s about it. Iva Babic as the lead female who is the one who kidnaps Kreischer is the best part of the film. You forget Kreischer is the star as she out acts him in virtually every aspect. Think of this movie as a john wick style shoot em up movie while trying to add a dumpy comedian in it. It is entertaining, I give it that, just a lot different than I was expecting. I give it a 6.5/10.

Cadaver

“Cadaver” is a 2020 original Norwegian Netflix horror movie starring Thorbjorn Harr (Vikings), Thomas Gullestad (The 12th Man), and Gitte Witt (The Sleepwalker).

It’s a post-apocalyptic world. Death, famine, and poverty run rampant in the streets. A mysterious show comes to town promising a free meal with every show for every attendee. A young couple and their daughter go to the hotel where the show is being held for the free meal. They soon find out something much more sinister than a mere show is taking place.

I’m typically not a fan of foreign movies just because of the fact the dubs rarely match up, and the subs never match with the dubs. It just tends to irritate me. This one’s not bad at all and you forget for the most part that it is dubbed. There’s not much out on the horror front so I decided to check this one out. I remember when Netflix first dropped it, it didn’t look appealing to me though. Let’s go ahead and dive into this one.

It starts out looking like one of those weird horror movies that you have no clue what is what like “Mother” or “Infinity Pool.” This one does right its course though and is more straight forward than the artsy weird ones. It is pretty dark and heavy movie, so keep that in mind. The writing is really solid as well as the acting. Its fast paced and keeps your attention throughout the movie as well as keeps you guessing with what is really going on. Overall, it’s a pretty solid movie and worth the watch for any horror fan. I give it an 8/10.

Guardians of the Galaxy Vol 3

“Guardians of the Galaxy Vol 3″is 2023’s newest and according to director James Gunn, the final installment of Marvel’s “Guardians of the Galaxy” series. It brings back all our favorite guardians while also adding Will Poulter (We’re the Millers), Chukwudi Iwuji (Peacemaker), and Nico Santos (Superstore) in this installment.

A mad genius known as the High Evolutionary is determined to get his most successful creation back in order to kill it and study its brain. The creation happens to be Rocket. The guardians are determined to protect Rocket at all costs and put a stop to the High Evolutionary.

The Guardians are my favorite series in the MCU. It blends the perfect amount of action and humor together. It is the creme de la creme of the MCU. So how does this one stack up compared to the first two? Simple answer, James Gunn brings another masterpiece. This one is full of action and the comedy we’re used to with the Guardians. It does bring a little more in your feels/drama in this one, but that’s to be expected being supposedly the last one. A lot of it is centered around Rocket and his back story and how he came to be. So that’s pretty cool to see. They do wrap it up as it could end, but they do tease at the end that Star lord will be back. If it’s a solo movie or coming back for another guardians we’ll see. If it is the last one, it has been a hell of a ride. I give it a 9.5/10.

Infinity Pool

“Infinity Pool” is a 2023 horror/sci-fi starring Alexander Skarsgard (The Legend of Tarzan), Mia Goth (Pearl), Cleopatra Coleman (A Lot of Nothing), and Jalil Lespert (Human Resources)

A writer with writer’s block (Skarsgard) and his wife (Coleman) go to a resort for vacation which he is hoping to find inspiration while there. They run into another couple and sneak off the resort together, which is against the rules. While outside the resort, they hit a pedestrian with their car killing him instantly. The punishment is death, but with enough money, you can pay for the government to clone a double and have the clone take your place. This is what the writer chooses, but now he’s fallen in with the wrong group and it becomes a nightmare he may not be able to escape from.

I wanted to see this one in theaters, but it didn’t stay around long enough for me to get the chance. Which I can start off by saying I’m glad it didn’t, and I didn’t end up wasting my money by seeing it in theaters. It tries way too hard to be artsy, just like the movie “Mother”. It is nothing short of terrible. It’s weird, too quiet, there’s random close ups and random flashing of lights during the movie. It has a weird drug fueled orgy scene that adds absolutely nothing to the movie. You just find yourself wanting this two-hour dumpster fire to end. I give it a 2/10, and only reason that it’s that high is because it has a few scenes that are bearable. Overall, though, it’s just terrible and weird.

Corrective Measures (2022)

“Corrective Measures” is a 2022 Tubi original sci-fi/action movie based on the graphic novel. It stars Michael Rooker (Guardians of the Galaxy), Bruce Willis (Die Hard), Tom Cavanagh (Scrubs), Brennan Mejia (The Dead Girls Detective Agency), and Dan Payne (Watchmen).

Super villains exist and run amok. A top notch, high security prison is developed to house these super villains and get them off the street. It houses the baddest of the bad including the Lobe (Willis) who single handedly created a pulse that wreaked havoc worldwide and caused Australia to disappear in the ocean. This prison is run by a corrupt warden (Rooker) who goes by the name the Overseer. The Overseer is close to retirement and plans on extorting billions from the Lobe before he does. However, the Lobe has different plans.

This movie doesn’t have a lot of love on IMDb with a 4.8 out of 10. After I watched the opening scene, I could see why. It was beyond cheesy, the writing, the acting, all of it. I thought what have I got myself into. However, after that it gets pretty good. Sure, it still has its cheesy parts, but it’s unique, and interesting enough to keep your attention. The writing is actually pretty solid, with some good twists thrown in. All of the villains have unique powers that make it fun as well. I enjoyed this movie. I think they should have maybe opened up the movie with someone other than Payback (Payne), he was the cheesiest. I don’t agree with IMDb on this one. It’s a fun watch, and I give it an 8/10.

Paint

“Paint” is a 2023 Bob Ross-esque comedy starring Owen Wilson (Shanghai Knights), Wendi McLendon-Covey (The Goldbergs), Stephen Root (Office Space), Michaela Watkins (The Way Back), and Ciara Renee (DC’s Legends of Tomorrow).

Carl Nargle (Wilson) is the king of PBS Vermont with his daytime painting show of twenty-two years. The station is struggling and they bring in a younger artist to help boost ratings. Everyone who was once fixated with Carl starts to focus all their attention on the new artist. He now starts to feel threatened and forced out.

I hadn’t even heard of this movie until it came out, but I figured I would give it a try. It looks like a Bob Ross spoof movie with Owen Wilson decked out to look like him, afro and all. Even down to the soft speaking and easy mannerisms that is Bob Ross, which Owen Wilson pulls off really well, but it’s deeper than that though. It’ a feel-good type of movie about a man just trying to find his purpose in life. It does have its funny laugh out loud moments, but overall, it’s just one of those off beat movies that works. Not just some silly spoof. It’s worth watching, I give it a 7/10.

The Whale

“The Whale” is a 2022 drama based on the play with the same name, it stars Brendan Fraser (George of the Jungle), Sadie Sink (Stranger Things), Ty Simpkins (Insidious), and Hong Chau (The Menu).

“The Whale” is about 600-pound recluse who tries to reconcile his relationship with his estranged teenage daughter before he dies from congestive heart failure.

I’ve been wanting to see this since it was first announced. I like Sadie Sink, I think she’s a great actress and I love seeing Brendan Fraser having a big comeback after being black balled by Hollywood for all those years. Unfortunately, it didn’t come to a theater near me, but it’s available at Redbox now. The acting is very solid from both Fraser and Sink. The movie is a let down however. The movie is two hours and it feels every bit of that. The story is very slow, the entire movie is set in Fraser’s apartment. Which makes sense, he a 600 pound recluse, but nothing really happens. Even the trying to reconcile his relationship with his daughter doesn’t really go anywhere. I get where the writer is paralleling this story with Moby Dick, but it just falls flat. I was expecting a lot more from this film. I give it a 6/10.

Scream VI

“Scream VI” is a 2023 horror film and the newest installment of the “Scream” series. It’s the sequel to the requel as the movie proudly exclaims. It brings back the core four, Jenna Ortega (Wednesday), Jasmin Savoy Brown (Yellowjackets), Mason Gooding (Fall), and Melissa Barrera (In the Heights). It also brings back classic “Scream” stars Courteney Cox (Friends), Skeet Ulrich (The Craft), and Hayden Panettiere (Remember the Titans). It also brings in fresh faces with Jack Champion (Avatar: The Way of the Water), and Dermot Mulroney (Young Guns).

It’s a year after the last Ghostface killings and the core four has moved to New York for a fresh start when the killings start up again.

“Scream V” was amazing, so I was pretty pumped for “Scream VI.” It does a good job of picking up where the last one left off. It also does a good job of keeping you guessing who Ghostface is until the very end. It has plenty of Easter eggs from the past screams, for the “Scream” fans. Including clothing from previous films. It’s not as good as “Scream V”, and I think part of it is just because of how good “Scream V” is, that it sets the bar pretty high. It doesn’t seem to be as action packed, and a little more predictable. Overall, it’s still good though and I give it a 7.5/10.

Luther: The Fallen Sun

“Luther: The Fallen Sun” is a 2023 Netflix original crime/drama/thriller currently sitting at number one on Netflix. It stars Idris Elba (Beast), Cynthia Erivo (Harriet), Andy Serkis (Rise of the Planet of the Apes), and Dermot Crowley (Luther).

Luther is on the case of young man who was murdered, the killer feels Luther is getting close and brings some of Luther’s tactics to light sending Luther to prison. Now with more murders coming to light, Luther must escape prison and stop the killer before it’s too late.

Fans of the show “Luther” can rejoice. Everyone’s favorite detective is back. Great thing about this movie is that it’s also a great standalone film as well. If you haven’t seen the show, no problem, it’s the same characters but it doesn’t tie directly into the show. So, you’ll love it if you haven’t seen the show and you’ll love it if you have. I’m personally a fan of the show and was pumped when this movie was first released. It’s fast paced, action packed, and can only deliver the way Luther can. It also teases there may be a sequel, only time will tell. If you are a fan of the show, Alice unfortunately doesn’t make an appearance in this one, maybe the next one. I give it an 8/10.

Cocaine Bear

“Cocaine Bear” is a 2023 horror/dark comedy film directed by Elizabeth Banks starring Kerri Russell (Dawn of the Planet of the Apes), Alden Ehrenreich (Solo: A Star Wars Story), O’ Shea Jackson Jr. (Straight Outta Compton), Ray Liotta (The Many Saints of Newark), Christian Convery (Sweet Tooth), and Margo Martindale (Sneaky Pete).

“Cocaine Bear” is based on the true story about a sky diver who in the 80’s was found dead in a driveway in Knoxville, TN with a duffel bag full of cocaine. Before his plane went down, he dumped several bags of cocaine out of the plane across the Chattahoochee National Forest. A mother trying to find her daughter and friend, a cop trying to track down the cocaine, a group of teenage thugs, a park ranger, and two men who the cocaine belongs to are all in the woods for different reasons. Unbeknownst to them so is a big black bear who ingested a lot of the cocaine. Now high on cocaine the big black bear goes on a murderous rampage.

I had a special interest in this movie just because I live near the location the story takes place. It’s cool to see a place you live as a main setting in a major movie. It is a true story that has been highly embellished. A bear did ingest a lot of the cocaine in real life, but instead of going on a murderous rampage it died. However, that wouldn’t make for much of a movie.

“Cocaine Bear” is a wild ride that doesn’t slowdown from start to finish. I figured it would be just a rampage style movie where the bear runs around killing people the entire time. However, it has the perfect amount of gore mixed in with humor. There are several laugh out loud moments throughout the movie. I’m also a fan of unique death scenes in movies, that make your eyes pop, and grab onto the edge of your seat, they mix a few of these in here as well. Also, it’s bittersweet being Ray Liotta’s final film. I highly recommend checking this one out. I give it an 8/10.