30 Miles from Nowhere

’30 Miles from Nowhere’ is a 2018 horror/thriller that you can find on VUDU staring, Carrie Preston (Claws), Rob Benedict (Waiting), Cathy Shim (Reno 911!), Marielle Scott (You), Seana Kofoed (American Princess), William Smillie (Chicago Fire), and Postell Pringle (Grand Theft Auto IV). Five college friends reunite for a friends funeral who happens to live in rural Wisconsin, and soon it becomes a fight for survival.

There’s a lot to unpack here, and it’s not so good. It has an ‘IT’ feeling at first, a group of friends get back together that haven’t seen each other in years. Instead of getting together to fight an evil clown they’re getting together for a friends funeral. The build up is very slow, with a lot of dialogue, which I believe dialogue is important. It builds up the scene and lets the viewer know important details, but this dialogue goes nowhere, and just muddles the story. Not only that the characters are very stereotypical. All this is within the first thirty minutes of the movie, once you get past this, the action starts to take place, if you can call it that. The jump scenes are terrible, it’s like they just added whatever they thought is scary and threw it into this movie, cockroaches, random blood, and rabid dogs. I’ve seen a lot worse movies, but this one isn’t good. My wife and I quote said “this wouldn’t scare a 12 year old.” I give it a 4/10, and the only reason it’s that high is because the ending manages to pull it in some.

Riot (2015)

While quarantine and social distancing is still going on, I’m still reviewing movies you can see while stuck at home. Majority of these movies are all on Netflix. I’m going to talk about ‘Riot’. ‘Riot’ is a 2015 action film staring Matthew Reese (The Eleventh Hour), Danielle C. Ryan (The Cat in the Hat), Dolph Lundgren (Rocky IV), and Chuck Liddell.

‘Riot’ is about a former cop, Jack Stone (Reese), who orchestrates a robbery in order to be put in the same prison as a Russian crime lord (Liddell) who killed his family. There is now a 100,000 dollar bounty on Jack’s head, Jack Stone is out for revenge while trying to stay alive.

When thinking of good actors I’ve never heard anyone mention Dolph Lundgren, or Chuck Liddell, they’re simply not. You know what you’re going to get when you watch a film with them in it, not a lot of substance but a ton of action. However in Dolph Lundgren’s favor, ‘Rocky IV’ is the best Rocky movie. ‘Riot’ though is just bad. Lundgren plays an undercover agent in the prison who is a prisoner with special needs, the acting is just terrible. Liddell’s fake Russian accent is atrocious not to mention his bad acting on top of it. The whole thing is just cheesy, bad acting, and no substance. Give this one a pass, I give it a 4/10.

Circle

‘Circle’ is a thriller/horror movie from 2015, not to get confused with Netflix’s 2020 reality show ‘The Circle’, although you can find ‘Circle’ on Netflix as well. ‘Circle’ is about fifty strangers who wake up in a mysterious chamber without any recollection how they got there or what is going on. Every two minutes one will die by a system of voting, if they don’t vote one will die at random. Old, young, white, black, Asian, rich, poor, educated, and uneducated it doesn’t matter they’re all there. Obviously there is a big cast since there is fifty people, no real big names are in the movie. However, it does star Michael Nardelli (The Collection), Lawrence Kao (Wu Assassins), and Carter Jenkins (Aliens in the Attic).

‘Circle’ is about humanity, and our thought process in a difficult decision. I respect that, and I like the concept of this film. Ultimately though, it falls flat. It’s just fifty people arguing for an hour and a half while one by one they get killed till there’s only one left. I could have just watched ‘Survivor’ if I wanted to see people argue and get voted off. I give this one a 4/10.